Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Becoming A Mother Has Changed Me Forever

It's weird to think of myself as a Mother. Sure, I have an adorable baby boy, but I don't particularly feel like a M-O-M. To me that word conjures up images of my own mother, or women her age in general. Surely not someone who is just 28 years old like myself.

But tonight while I sit here awake way past my bedtime because Rocco has Bronchiolitis/RSV and I'm too worried about him to go to sleep, I was thinking about this - I feel like a completely different person.

Before Rocco was born or even thought of, I would hear stories in the news about missing children, children with cancer, children left accidentally in a hot car, etc. and I felt sad for those families.  But it was generally a fleeting feeling. Now? Those same kind of stories bring tears to my eyes. Those stories are my worst nightmare and they move me in a way I can't even begin to describe. I feel like becoming a Mother has unlocked a part of my heart I never even knew existed. I feel sorrow and empathy more deeply than before, but conversely I feel love more intensely than ever. Today, seeing Scott trying to comfort Rocco, made me feel as much love for him as I felt on our wedding day. As for Rocco, I actually miss him when he is just taking a nap. So you can only imagine how I felt on his first day at daycare. I was a complete mess to say the least. But I wouldn't trade these more powerful feelings, good or bad, for the world. I'm more sympathetic. I'm more grateful. I'm changed. Forever.

All because I'm a Mother

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